Moving Day

Last Saturday Tanya and I moved our furniture into our apartment! It was a drama-comedy worthy of Voltaire and his métaphysico-théologo-cosmolonigologie.

The day began bright and early at the magnificent hour of 8 o'clock. Which, for a Saturday, is practically sacrilegious. As we were having a family BBQ later that evening, Tanya was going to be busy with her mother for most of the day, leaving the moving to myself and one of my good mission friends Orion.

The earliest appointment I could get for a U-haul was 10 o'clock that morning. After eating, showering and meandering about the house for a bit, I still had not heard from Orion. We had set up the move date earlier in the week, but I had been unable to contact him with the move time once the truck was rented. Not wanting to delay the move, nor rent a truck without the necessary man-power, I began to contemplate the inherit difficulties, and possibilities, of a single handed move. After a brief moment of reflection, I decided that this was not the best, nor the brightest thing I had ever contemplated, and began to do that only rational thing I could think of; I began to panic. I called every guy I knew who I was comfortable asking for help. This, however, proved fruitless, yet nonetheless informative, as I discovered that one of my good friends had moved himself.

I, nonetheless, proceeded to the U-haul station to get my rental truck, trusting in the fates and dumb luck that Orion had remembered. I got to the U-haul and after no small confusion as to which was the actual entrance and service desk - as neither were marked - I was greeted by an elderly man in a tractor hat. He had a pinkie ring on his right hand, leading me to believe that he had been somewhat self-important in his younger years, that, or he had just outgrown a ring of some sentimental value. I was gruffly informed that my truck was ready and out front and I had better get it back or else he would be in some #%$! trouble with the next client with a reservation. As I advanced towards my new U-haul rental I was overcome by a mixture of emotions; apprehension in driving my first truck, excitement, extreme manliness, and slight hunger - which probably was not associated with the truck, but rather due to my meager breakfast.

By this time Orion had called - great was my rejoicing - turns out he had just let his phone battery die. He was good to go and we set to meet at my parent's house. I started the truck and pulled out of the U-haul station. I immediately noticed that the alignment was off, and that in order to drive in a straight line I needed to hold the wheel at a 90% angle. Due to the bad alignment, one of the axles was bad which lent itself to a very bumpy acceleration. After a few moments of swerving back and forth in the lane, I got the hang of it and headed off to load it up.

I met Orion and we loaded the truck rapidly at my parents house, dropped by a mattress store and picked up our new mattress and box spring (thank you Dad!), went by Tanya's house and got our couch and boxes, and headed up to the apartment in Salt Lake.

The apartment is located on the second floor of a converted 1920's house down a small alley next to Memorial Grove. I pulled the U-haul into the alley and we discussed our plan of attack. We decided that it would be best to unload all of our items onto the side-walk and then move the truck as it was blocking the entire lane. We unloaded that truck as quickly as possible and it looked like we were going to make it without inconveinencing any traffic. But, just as we neared completion, a very snooty girl in a black BMW decided it she needed to pull out. I jumped into the U-haul and started to back it up. However, the fact that it was a large truck with a steering wheel that operated at a 90% differential, I am sure you can understand my taking my time in backing out. Black BMW girl decided that this was not fast enough, and followed me at a distance of about a foot in her car all the way out of the alley.

After having cleared the alley and parked the truck, it was time to haul everything upstairs to the apartment. We decided to start with the large items i.e. the bed and the couches. With no small effort, we got the bed up the stairs and into the room. Then it was time for the couch. The couch had been Tanya's Dad's when he was in college and is a bit of a heirloom. We heafted the couch and took it to the bottom of our stair well. Orion and I both looked at each other, and with an aire of determination greater than ever exhibited by Napoleon at Waterloo, we proceeded to mount the stair case. We got to the top and encountered our first problem. The doorway is parallel to the staircase and boxed in by an alcove; we had absolutley no room to turn the couch. We decided to try to enter it vertically, which resluted in a dent in the door and a stuck couch. After backing it out, it became apparent that the only way we were going to get it in, was by removing the door.

I was stuck on the outside holding the couch, which left Orion inside. He began to pry at the door pins with his keys. After several minutes had passed, and a few harsh words were spoken to the door, it was removed and the couch was in. I helped Orion replace the door, and our move was over.

Upon reflection, the next time we rent an apartment, I would prefer it to be on the ground floor, and couch friendly.