20 June 2010

I Love You Paris

Apparently I have a mule for a puppy. I've just returned home from dropping off John at the airport (thanks Teo). I cried, I sulked, I gave John all my good wishes and kisses - and now I'm dealing with a puppy that knows his enforcer is gone for the next seven weeks. Within the past few minutes he has managed to find a garbage bag, some weird crusty items, a plastic tag, a sock, a pair of slippers, running shoes, some cardboard, a dime, another piece of plastic, and a drinking glass. I've tried interesting him in his usual toys, and have even demeaned myself to the point of talking in non-sensible "nee-neerings" in order to entice his playful nature. But now I'm dealing with a puppy that knows his playmate is gone.

But even worse - I'm dealing with a person who knows her love is gone. How does one handle being away from her husband for so long? I'm strongly attached - if you can't tell. And I'll have to stop myself there to avoid embarrassing myself any further. But really. I truly am a wimp. I have been so sad the past few days, feeling weepy at the slightest provocation. I teared up when he texted me, I teared up when I realized I wouldn't get to see him look at me that way until August, I teared up when I realized it was 7:30 and his flight was taking off, I'm tearing up now because writing this reminds me he won't be here with me . . . until August. And, I have a sunburn and no one to rub aloe on my back for me. And now, all I want to do is look at our wedding albums and watch Stargate Universe to remind me of him. Oh boy - I need to just take a breather. It isn't as if I have two children and I'm sending him off to war. He's going on an all expenses paid trip to Paris and getting the opportunity to improve his French.

So, do I need to end every post? As in end it, because I feel like I'm writing a children's book each time I post and have to end with some real conclusion or moral. Because all I've accomplished in writing this post is express how much of a wimp I am. But then again, I guess I've expressed something that has helped me gauge how strongly I love my husband (as if love is something that can be measured . . . ). What I really wish to do is take the lazy way and end each post when I feel like I've said my thing and leave "the end" hanging at the bottom of the post. So . . . the end.